Saturday, July 12, 2008

Last summer, this summer ...

Sometimes it is just better to be simply blank - something like you would reply "nothing really at my end" when someone would ask you "how is it going?"

Sometimes it is just easy to live life everyday, as it comes. Lest a few responsibilities, a few duties and a few goals you need to meet in the next few days.

Sometimes planning life is not the answer to your problems, just like pondering over the past is not. The future is unseen and often it is just such an easy get around to take life as it comes.

I was contrasting this summer with the last one. The circumstances are the same (nonetheless I am an year older, so an year more of maturity and experience about life and its myriad associations); but I felt summer has been different, more because I have changed a little bit, hopefully for the better. I see my goals more clearly now, have become professionally more responsible and serious, and I have also learned to take things only as much as I can afford - be it social terms, personal terms or simply being more responsible towards my life in the long run.

Lots of things had changed last summer, and those have further changed in the course of the past one year. And in the meanwhile I have learned one lesson. Too much planning and too much expectations never come handy. Life is too large to be engulfed in those realms.

Hopefully whatever happens, happens for the better. Life treats its lessons well in time, even if sometimes its bitter.

I am into the dreaded "mid-PhD years" of my life - one of the most difficult times of life: a time difficult to maintain the mental balance, a time tough to remain constantly motivated and a time you need to fight the rest of the world to be able to remain different from them. Different as to make a difference to the world tomorrow - leave a mark in the sands of time.

Just as relationships are, getting motivation for something and staying motivated are completely different things, and the latter needs much more effort and persistence than the former in several scales. And one of the most precious things I have learned this summer compared to the last time is to maintain that level of motivation even in the so-called dreaded PhD period.

And also, that life is happy. Happiness is all about how you perceive life, isn't it?

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