Today I was reading this post by a fellow blogger sodamncool on being unsocial. This is a response I wrote about my experience.
I came here for grad studies back in Fall 2005. It was everything new: new place, customs, work ethics, things that would streamline existence greatly! But ironically enough, things have not been so rosy on the social side. I am often unable to connect with the crowd here; just so much as I can't do the same with friends back in India. Despite having room-mates and other fellow MS / PhD students, I have not built up a large group. And this is not just true for me, I have seen the same for some of my other friends.
I came here for grad studies back in Fall 2005. It was everything new: new place, customs, work ethics, things that would streamline existence greatly! But ironically enough, things have not been so rosy on the social side. I am often unable to connect with the crowd here; just so much as I can't do the same with friends back in India. Despite having room-mates and other fellow MS / PhD students, I have not built up a large group. And this is not just true for me, I have seen the same for some of my other friends.
Sometimes I thought it is just me: my line of thought is just too different now to interact normally with others. To me hanging around is no more partying / discussing bf, gfs / bitching about other people / complaining about work / studies. I often look for something more creative: like going hiking somewhere, doing photography, discussing philosophy, appreciating Art, discussing nice movies, talking of literature, suggesting nice books to read, exchange cooking recipes etc. But unfortunately I find very few people with whom I can do these things. Neither can I run after getting jobs (as most MS students do) or start my drive to find a handsome guy to date (most ABCDs do). May be I am the odd one!
7 comments:
You are not the "odd" one, you are the prized one.... not everybody can appreciate good things like you do!
Believe me, staying in Bangalore, "INDIA" I have felt the same as you!!
@ PP
I know what you mean. Thanks for being able to connect with my thoughts. I understand your situation: that's why I enjoy talking to you about crazy stuff :D
And it also does prove that it is not the Indian or the US society to blame, it is just the kind of person we are :) , of course for the better :)
why try and fit in when you can actually stand out?? (this line is stolen from an amanda bynes movie...in my defense..i was watching it cos i had no choice since my cousins took control of the tv...
so coming back to why try and fit in when you can stand out...sure it does seem good to hear and smart to practice but is it always good to be that way because at some point of time you are going to have to mingle or try and fit in just to have certain things going..
maybe we have reached such a point that now fitting in just doesn't work, no matter how much we try...we cant try and be someone we are not and hence if we seem to be odd when compared to others then so be it i guess...atleast maybe this way we might retain our individuality...
@ sodamncool
Yeah, I believe you are right :)
Hey! This is exactly what I was discussing with one of my friends yesterday! It's so difficult to get someone with similar interests. You have all kind of friends to begin with- the ones with whom you can go shopping with or hang around for a bit... all the time pass stuff. But when it gets to real soul-searching or sharing a certain ambition in life, you don't find many around you. Good to know that I am not the only effected by the lone 'I' syndrome. Our daily schedules makes it even more difficult to look for people with similar interests, even in our own campuses! Maybe that is why you have the virtual friends.
However, I'd like to add that I have acquaintances (note: didn't use "friends" too casually) who are more like me here than it was back in India. So, I am still hopeful. I just joined in Fall 07 ... maybe it will click somewhere.
P.S. I'd have loved it, had you been in Boston :D
( Bitching included occasionally)
@ Aparna,
hehe! I loved your PS part :P
yeah let's all be hopeful about finding people whom we can connect with :)
good to know that I have company on this boat :)...
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